Visibly Shaken

For class, as my classmates can attest to, we are asked to view different websites including WikiLeaks.  Prior to this class I had no idea what WikiLeaks even was.  Once I found out I was a bit disturbed at the prospect of our military intelligence posted on the Internet.  What I just watched may have changed my mind completely.

This is the WikiLeak we were asked to look at:  http://www.collateralmurder.com/

I watched the first several minutes before I had to stop.  My heart is racing and I swear if the classmate I'm studying with looked at me closely, she would see that I am visibly shaking.  Generally I'm not one to get shaken up over things I see.  Having watch Schulberg's film from 1947 entitled "Nurnberg: It's Lessons for Today" which has only recently been released for viewing in the US on a limited basis, as well as watching various documentaries from the former Yugoslavia and Rwanda on the genocides that took place in those countries, I tend to be pretty immune to what I see.  Perhaps because this video is relatively recent is why I am so shaken.  Perhaps because I have friends and family who have served over in Iraq since 2003.  I can't quite put my finger on what aspect has me so shaken up that I can't concentrate on my reading for class.

Part of me is so angry I could spit nails.  How dare our soldiers have so little regard for human life, potential enemy or not?  How dare our military claim those people died during an insurgent attack and refuse to release the footage to Routers to see for themselves how two of their employees died?  Who do we think we are?  No wonder the world over hates America and Americans.  Good for WikiLeaks for exposing these atrocities and making our military more accountable.  I think.  

Most of me wants to weep for the eight men I watched being murdered by American soldiers.  I could sob for them and their grieving families.  I wish I could apologize to them personally and beg forgiveness even though I had nothing to do with the killing of their loved ones and have been vocally against going to war in Iraq since 2002.  Somehow I feel responsible.  I don't know how the people who created the snowball logic that lead to this war can sleep at night.  I know I will have trouble sleeping tonight.